I’m grateful that there are only 24 hours in a day. Some days just need to be over and done with.
Such was yesterday. It was yet another unproductive court date for my daughter and three hours of wasted time for her attorney, his attorney, the mediator, and the narcissist himself. In true fashion, the narcissist changed his mind at the very last second about what had been negotiated for a couple of hours, at least. I’m grateful I am able to understand something about people like that. It’s a mental illness, and I get that.
For years, my mom had her own issues that eventually resulted in electroshock therapy and, as a recovering alcoholic, I certainly know I’ve had mine. In an attempt to understand my own abnormal behavior, I majored in special education with an emphasis in emotional disturbances and behavior disorders while in college, crazy as that sounds. I feel like mental illness has been a part of most of my life. Which is probably why I am comfortable talking about it. My recovery has taught me that acceptance ultimately brings peace, and that’s a big reason why I practice gratitude so vigorously.
I’m grateful that the past six years have inspired my daughter and me to learn what we can about a certain mental illness: narcissistic personality disorder–more out of necessity than desire, but that’s okay. Knowledge is power. It gives us something to talk about, and we even talk about writing a book someday about the experience from her viewpoint versus mine. Six years of journaling, emails, and text messages have already given us lots of fodder to start with.
And because I myself am an alcoholic, I know that he’s sick. I’m grateful that, because she’s lived with me and also with him, my daughter is beginning to understand that, too, difficult as it is.
I’m grateful that she texted me just now to say that she was “actually okay this morning” and “at peace.” That is huge! I’m grateful that there are only 24 hours in a day, and that we are given what we need to get through it.
Give us this day our daily bread ~Matthew 6:11
