My feelings were hurt the other day when someone in a writing group I belong to–the moderator, no less–commented “Fiction” to my blog post about my trip last weekend to Williamstown and Petersburg, Kentucky. My initial response was to engage in debate, but I’m grateful I didn’t take the bait. He’s entitled to his opinion. I’m guessing that the subject of my post–Noah’s Ark–was what bothered him.
The smart alec in me initially thought to retort, “No, I really did go to Williamstown and Petersburg,” knowing full well that my destination wasn’t what he didn’t believe. It was probably disbelief in the existence of Noah’s Ark or in the truth contained in the Bible that riled him up. I wonder if I disappointed him by not engaging, but I was rather proud of myself for resisting the urge. Letting go of something isn’t easy for me, but I’m getting better. My insides feel better when I do. I’m grateful for learning to listen to my body and the messages it sends me.
I’m grateful that being in recovery has taught me to pay attention when an uncomfortable feeling begins welling up inside me as it did when I read that particular comment. That’s my signal to take action. I love AA’s acronym for ‘action:’ Any Change Towards Improving One’s Nature. It’s a gentle reminder that the only person I can change is me and for me to work on my own character defects. In this case, allowing other people’s opinions to matter. I played the tape forward and realized that even if I had the ability, I had neither the energy nor the desire to change his mind. It was then that mentally agreeing to disagree took away all the power his comment had on me. It was amazingly liberating.
I’m really working on letting things go immediately, and just skipping the angst and torment of trying to hold on to something not worth having. So I’m grateful for this challenge, and for not letting this complete stranger’s opinion matter to me. I’m grateful for new lessons.
Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your foot away from evil. ~Proverbs 24:25-27
