Sometimes I marvel at the inner workings of God, because He’s set my heart on forgiving someone who has imparted a tremendous amount of pain and suffering on three people I love very, very much. I don’t want to. And yet I know without a doubt that that’s God’s will.
Therefore, I have a choice to make.
I have learned in recovery that I cannot let resentment fester, because for us alcoholics, resentment is the #1 offender. It takes control of my thoughts and sets me off in a direction that goes nowhere but down. I’m grateful I know that now and recognize it for what it is: A resentment is something I must get rid of if I want to be happy, joyous and above all, free.
As Nelson Mandela famously said,
“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous has a suggested plan of action if I choose to forgive this person—I’m to pray for his health, safety and prosperity every day for two weeks. Thank God for the caveat: I don’t have to mean it. But if I do it for two weeks, I’m told I’ll have a change of heart. We’ll see. The bitterness I feel now supposedly will be replaced with compassionate understanding and love. Again, we’ll see.
My choice couldn’t be any clearer: I have to forgive because I have been forgiven of my many sins. Being naturally stubborn, a part of me wants to delay, but that would be like cutting off my nose to spite my face. My two-week regimen begins today.
Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. ~Luke 6:37
