Every Monday morning at 10 o’clock, I visit with one of my very dearest friends via phone call. It’s on my calendar, and I look forward to what often turns out to be an hour-long conversation, or more. She is probably the only person I trust enough to vent to about personal matters, and I am grateful for her confidence. Friends like that are not easy to find.
We have much in common…including lengthy marriages to our spouses, for one. Therefore, she’s familiar with the occasional ‘frustrations’ that go along with living with someone (in a very small space) with another person 24/7, for years. For a few minutes yesterday, we commiserated briefly about one another’s current complaints; the validation was therapeutic.
Talking it out revealed that both of us were allowing another’s behavior (which we can’t control) to affect our reaction (which we could control), and that we worried about what others would think (which we can’t control.) The revelation made us pause…
The conversation would’ve continued if not for an 11 o’clock appointment she couldn’t miss, but I had something to think about for the rest of the day. Actually, I was grateful for the time-constraint that put an end to my complaining. It seemed pretty clear that my reaction to another’s behavior is a choice (something I can control.) So I guess it all comes down to, how do I want to feel? I have total control over that. And that’s a lot to be grateful for!
A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. ~ Proverbs 25:28
