Gratitude for A Change in View.

November 8, 2021.

Has something like this ever happened to you?

Back when we were in Memphis last month, the young woman giving me a pedicure looked up from what she was doing and asked, in broken English, where I was from.

Inside, I sighed. Not again, I thought. I get asked this question a lot. Before this, it was this past summer when the person cutting my hair asked the same thing, Where are you from? My guess is that it’s because of my skin color or maybe certain features. 

I usually answer something like, “St. Louis, but my dad’s from the Philippines,” and I like when the conversation ends there. I don’t like being asked this question because I don’t know much about my dad’s life except that by age 5 he and his five siblings were orphans, and once he left the Philippines as a young teenager, he never wanted to go back. He thought of the United States as being his country now.

I’m proud of being my father’s daughter and I’m proud of my heritage. What little I know about it. And there lies the rub: I wish I knew more. When I was a little girl, my family would spend many Sunday afternoons at the local Filipino community hall known as The Post. The time spent there was very family-oriented and I have good memories of being there. Lots of cooking and good food, fun and fellowship. Since I didn’t know any relatives on my dad’s side of the family, these were the only Filipinos I knew.

This morning we had a crew of RV repairmen working on Felix, installing a new slide cover so now we don’t have to cinch it in with duct tape whenever we travel. One of them who was working on the roof, 12 feet above where I was, asked—yep—“Where are you from?” “St. Louis,” I said at first and followed it right away with “and my dad’s from the Philippines.” “I knew it,” he said and then told me that he was married to a Filipina, as was the other repairman. Evidently my heritage had been a topic of conversation between the two of them in the language they were familiar with, not my dad’s native language, Tagalog. What then followed was a rather lengthy discussion about the Philippines and Filipinos in general and it was clear that they both had positive perceptions. Both of them have been there a few times doing missionary work and their love for the Filipino people was evident. Afterwards, I felt a new gratitude for my heritage; I’d always embraced it, but today brought it to a whole new level.

That conversation has completely changed my attitude towards being asked where I’m from. I feel as though I’ve done an about-face. Instead of being annoyed by being asked what I think of as a personal question, I will view it as a conversation ice-breaker and an opportunity to converse and connect with another human being. After almost two years of Covid restrictions, that is a blessing. I am grateful for this change in perspective.